Sep 20, 2006

Speed dating or Matrimonial Banquet? Is that really the point?

As usual all credit goes to www.billu.net for locating the article and writing something about it. One day, my friend, I will write about something other than my bicycle that you can comment on.

So the NY Times wrote an article about the issue that Muslims are in a 'fix' when it comes to marriage, a western society, trying to keep their values intact and terminology.

www.billu.net recently commented on it.

“If we called it speed dating, it will end up with real dating,” said Shamshad Hussain, one of the organizers, grimacing. “If we called it speed dating, it will end up with real dating,” said Shamshad Hussain, one of the organizers, grimacing.


Just calling it something different is not exactly going to change what it is. And it is speed dating, or speedy introductions. ISNA isn't exactly the most pious forum for muslim intellectuality.

I find Shamsad Hussain's comment to be naive. I think there are American Muslim families that want these ideals for their kids, but are completely unaware of what is really going on with their kids. This is really where the disconnect lies. In american families, parents know their kids will do drugs, smoke, drink, have sex, whatever. They may not know when and where it happens, but I am sure they don't encourage it, but it's going to happen.

Raising a family in the US is hard. Cementing your belief's in your children is probably a lot harder. It's not easy for kids to grow up in this culture. The only way they can figure out what they want, is to figure it out for themselves.

Changing the name to hide what it really is is silly. Basically Muslims in America are trying to merge dating, matrimonials and their values and, the honeymoon period so far has been pretty rocky. Both sides are beginning to just understand each other.

Lets see what they call it at next year's ISNA meeting

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