Dec 14, 2008

You know you should get rid of your car when...

I have a really old car and I've kept it for a lot longer than I should have. I've put a lot of money into it, when I shouldn't have and I think I've replaced every conceivable part inside of it. I just don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did so as a public service announcement, I'd like to give you some advice as to when you should dump that heap.

You know you need to get rid of your car when...
  • ...the call operator at AAA and you, are on a first name basis.
  • ...the mechanic where you usually take the car to, is so thankful for the business you give him, that he always drops you home after you drop the car off...and buys you fresh cut flowers for the holidays.
  • find yourself parking far away from other cars so that your spot is tow-truck accessible.
  • stopped locking your car overnight back in 2003.
  • ...the gas tank lever is busted and you've perfected getting gas at a self-serve to an art form. (What I do jam the car keys underneath the lever inside the car and then rush outside to the gas tank and open it before the lever slips. I have about 3 seconds to do this)
  • ...the gas tank gauge flickers between empty and full constantly and you've actually been stranded on the side of a highway without gas.
  • rotate and replace your bicycle tires a lot more often than your car tires.
  • actually have a special prayer which you recite before you turn the ignition.
  • the winter, you climb in through the passenger door at the back because the front doors just don't open
  • ...the trunk key needs to go in at a highly precise angle if you want it open. And you have only 1 shot at it.
  • ...the car keys are more twisted than a Hitchcock film as you've used to them to open letters, beer bottles, the bathroom door, and the bathroom tiles.


  1. hmm not bad at all...good one...i see the makings of a great writer in future...